Updated: Mar 17

We always wonder if the person who we love and investing time and emotions into really feels the same way about us or loves us even more. Many ladies have asked me how do I know if a guy loves me? In most serious cases, some girls come to me distraught because they spent years with one guy, invested her time, money, emotions, and even created a life together and after the relationship, he meets a girl, and within a short time, he marries her.

 Men are simple creatures; they are not as complex as women where their emotions change often. They know exactly what they want from a relationship and once they meet that woman, they will do anything to make sure that they never lose her, My Auntie used to tell me growing up, "every shoe has its owner". What happens and why most women end up hurting in relationships is they tend to make decisions based on the drug called "being in love". When we are in this euphoric state, we are not able to make rational decisions but instead, we make decisions based on how we feel. This leads to you accepting a man who is displaying behavior below your core values and beliefs. You will know he loves you by the following.


The male lion is the king of the jungle and the leader of its pride, and it will protect its family against any attack. Men are like lions they protect their family from any harm and danger no matter the size of the threat. This is one way you know that your man is in love with you. He becomes very protective of you. He doesn't want anything to bring pain to you. His protectiveness can be interpreted as control if you do not how to identify it. For example, when my husband and I are walking he would always hold my hand and put me on the side that is away from the traffic because he is concern that the vehicle passing will knock me down. At first, I thought, does he think that I do not know how to walk on the side of the bothered me for days and after analysis and speaking to a mentor, I realized this the way he showed love. My mind also rewound to my father and ex-boyfriend and my male friends and their behavior were the same as my husband and I realized this is a way man show love. 

Meet your core belief

Core values are fundamental beliefs that dictate a person's behavior and motivate them to commit to certain life goals. These values determine the type of partner one commit to spending their lives with. They are not willing to compromise on these values. If a man loves you he will make sure that he meets the demand of your core values as long as it does not require him to change his core values. At the beginning of a relationship, you must make your beliefs clear and let the man know that these things you are not willing to compromise on. A man who loves you will do all in his power to meet these beliefs and values. If he must change his character, friends, location, mindset, and religion he will do that for you; if it does not contradict his core beliefs. Remember our core beliefs are what form us. For instance, marriage was a core value of mine before I got married. When I started dating my husband, I strategically shared with him that I wanted to get married and I do not want to date more than two years because that is sufficient time for me to get to know someone and know if they are husband material. He understood my belief and it didn't collide with his core values. One year and six months later we were married. 


When a man loves you and feels comfortable and safe with you, he will share his dreams with you. He will let you know his short term and long-term goals. This shows a deep form of love and trust. He trusts your guidance and words. Men don’t usually express their inner thoughts that easily, because they think it is a form of weakness. But once they fall in love with a woman, they let down their walls and a little bit of their ego and become vulnerable. If a man loves you he will let you know frequently how much he loves you and how much you mean to him. You will not have to ask or wonder how he feels, you will see it and hear every day. He will come to you for advice or express something that is burdening him. This is so because he loves you and trust you and value your opinion

Socio-Economic Status

 Socio-economic status is a person's economic and social position. He will work on improving his social-economical status so that he can be that man you desire and want to marry. When I was growing up there was a guy in the neighborhood and he was one of those guys who they will call a "thug". He never worked, he limed on the street, smoke, party etc., he came from a "poor family" and only had a high school education. He liked a girl in the same neighborhood who was of a higher social status than him. For him to reach his goal and be in a relationship with her he had to change his socio-economic status. So, do you know what did? He got a job, he stopped partying, stoping hanging out on the streets, quit smoking. He changed the way he dressed, speak, and his circle of friends. He transformed his entire life. I saw him a couple of weeks ago and they are now married with two boys and he now works at a bank and is completing his Master's Degree. When a man loves a woman he will change his entire life for her. He will not use any excuses such as next year I will start, this is who I am, I cannot turn my back on my friends etc.,


When a man loves you he will make sure that you know that he loves. There will be no excuses they will only be actions. You have to know who you are and your worth, and do not lower your core values to be with any man. If a man cannot meet your core values, then there is no need to keep investing in the relationships. Cut your losses and move on. Do not be afraid to lose a man/woman. When you hold on to something that is broken you are blocking the new improve person from coming into your life. Just let go! Stop worrying about what you are going to lose by leaving the relationship but focus on all the things you are going to gain.  

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